Wow. It has been a while since I have posted. I have not been happy. I know that happiness is a emotion not a destination. Although I have felt extremely unhappy lately.
I can really feel my depression/anxiety creeping back in. I do not want it back. Two years ago I gave up. I was very depressed and shut down. I pushed my friends and family out because I was not happy with who I was and I knew they wouldn’t be either.
The past month and a bit, I have been critical of everything. My relationships with my friends and my family. I am worried more now about how others see me. I have not been happy. On a positive I have been still eating right; no emotional eating. Exercise? That has become foreign to me and I am mad I gave up. I am made I have let myself down.
I would very much like to find more happiness in my day to day. I need to remove stressors from my life. I need to get back to me and my core. What makes me happy and what will keep me motivated to be healthy. I have decided that I am going to share the ups and downs. I like blogging. I had just lost my focus. The new year dawns on us. I intend to stop the negative thoughts but I will need all your help. It will be needed on the good days and ever more on the bad ones.
Thank you for being their for me. I wouldn’t be able to do it without you.
According to my horsescope today… I am a Scorpio
You may be desperate to start something new but the planets warn you should wait a bit more time before you begin. The new moon at the weekend will be your signal to begin. Start then and you just cannot lose.
What is my plan that I am so desperate according to my horoscope to start is… I have been talking a lot about having a healthy spirit. I have truely been considering exploring Paganism. I have been intrigued by Paganism for many years now, although I never had anyone activly in my life who was a Pagan. My best friend Ellie_Di invited me to Samhain. We had a wonderful evening and some delicious foods.
I just recently finished a book she gave me on Wicca. I am happy to have finished it. I am looking right now at all aspects of my life and seeing if a deity is particularly alligned or benifical. We shall see…
I am currently think about Brighid…