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What to say…

Wow. It has been a while since I have posted. I have not been happy. I know that happiness is a emotion not a destination. Although I have felt extremely unhappy lately.

I can really feel my depression/anxiety creeping back in. I do not want it back. Two years ago I gave up. I was very depressed and shut down. I pushed my friends and family out because I was not happy with who I was and I knew they wouldn’t be either.

The past month and a bit, I have been critical of everything. My relationships with my friends and my family. I am worried more now about how others see me. I have not been happy. On a positive I have been still eating right; no emotional eating. Exercise? That has become foreign to me and I am mad I gave up. I am made I have let myself down.

I would very much like to find more happiness in my day to day. I need to remove stressors from my life. I need to get back to me and my core. What makes me happy and what will keep me motivated to be healthy. I have decided that I am going to share the ups and downs. I like blogging. I had just lost my focus. The new year dawns on us. I intend to stop the negative thoughts but I will need all your help. It will be needed on the good days and ever more on the bad ones.

Thank you for being their for me. I wouldn’t be able to do it without you.

Categories: Uncategorized
  1. November 26, 2010 at 8:57 am

    You know that I’m always interested in hearing what you have to say. I’ve been through the depression thing before, and I know how that road goes. You can tell me whatever you need to, or you don’t have to tell me anything. All I really ask is that you pleasepleaseplease don’t try to push your friends and family away again. The people who actually love you aren’t sitting around judging you and thinking you’re crap. That’s totally in your head – don’t make those decisions for us, okay?

    I honestly think that biggest part of your emotional distress is the wedding. You and I need to sit down for a day and plan things. Clearly, it’s not working out with the maid of honour. I think that if you can offload most of that stress onto someone else’s shoulders (especially someone who’s done it before!), that will do you worlds of good.

    It’s probably also worth your time to go back to the gym. You love it so much! There’s no reason to be mad about putting it on hold. You can go back any time you want. It’s totally up to you. Either go back and be happy about exercising again, or scratch the gym off your to-do list and forget about it. You can’t let it hang over you and add to your stress.

    If you really do want to blog your way through this, you’re going to have to do it naked. Not…physically….you know what I mean. You’re going to have to write out all the negatives AND the positives, without reservation. Don’t worry about what people will think. You know your readers support you and will have good vibes and advice when you need them.

  1. November 26, 2010 at 2:57 pm

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